Self-harm: Advice and support for young people

Self-harm can take lots of different forms. Sometimes it is clear that something you are doing is a form of self-harm, other times it can be harder to identify.

Self-harm can look like:

• Cutting yourself.

• Biting yourself.

• Burning yourself.

• Over exercising.

• Getting into risky situations, such as fights.

• Having unsafe sex.

• Hitting yourself or hitting other things such as walls.

• Overeating, undereating, or forcing yourself to be sick.

• Picking or scratching at your skin, especially to the point of bleeding.

• Poisoning yourself.

• Pulling at your hair.

• Not looking after yourself/self-neglect.

• Using alcohol or other drugs.

This list isn’t exhaustive but if you’re doing something that is causing you harm, and you’re doing it to cope with difficult emotions, then this could be considered self-harm. You are not alone and there is support available for you.

Everyone’s experiences are different but often self-harm can be a sign someone is struggling with emotional pain and distress. Some of the causes of this stress include:

• Living with mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, personality disorder or bipolar disorder.

• Abuse or bullying, which could be sexual, physical or emotional abuse.

• Grief and loss.

• A long-term illness or health problem.

• Experiencing homophobia, biphobia or transphobia.

• Living with a neurodiverse condition, such as autism.

• Loneliness.

• Low self-esteem.

• Pressure at school or work.

• Stress, especially a sudden increase in stress.

• Suicidal thoughts.

• Unhealthy relationships.

If you are self-harming it is best to let your GP know. They will be able to support you and to find you the right support which may include being offered counselling or therapy to help manage your feelings and help and advice for minor injuries.

If needed your GP may talk to you about a referral to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) for an assessment or more treatment and help if needed.

You could also speak to your school’s pastoral care team. This could be a school counsellor, school nurse, your head of year or mental health support team if your school has one.

You can talk to someone you know and trust or you can speak to a professional like a counsellor or school nurse. There are many places which offer confidential, non-judgemental support where you can talk about whatever is distressing you.

Letting someone know about your thoughts, plans, or experiences of self-harming can help you find and get support. Letting people in can feel hard but just know there is support out there for you, and you are not alone.

Click here to read advice on where to start when talking about self-harm.

When you’re in a good headspace, think about small mood boosters you can do when you are struggling with feelings of self-harm.

Write a list of small things you enjoy, that if you get the urge to self-harm, you could do without too much effort. It could be something like:

• Listening to your current favourite song.

• Cuddling a pet or take them on a walk.

• Doodling or drawing.

• Speaking to someone you care about. If you are struggling with where to start but want to talk about self-harm, you can read our advice here.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, getting outside and focusing on your breathing can help calm your mind and body.

Whist you’re outside, think about the things you can see, hear, touch, and feel. This can be a nice way to ground yourself in the present moment, especially if your thoughts are feeling overwhelming.

You can find further advice on mindfulness, including breathing techniques and meditation, here.

Creating a care box can be a great way to have helpful items in one place, so if you do have the urge to, or do, self-harm, you can look after yourself.

You might want to think about including things like:

• A snack or drink.

• Something comforting like a blanket, hot water bottle, or comfort object.

• First aid items, like bandages and plasters.

• Headphones, if you like to listen to music.

• A small notebook or colouring pencils to doodle or journal in.

• Your own safety plan on hand so you know what to do if things are feeling too overwhelming.

• The names and numbers of anyone you can trust and talk to.

• Anything else that feels comforting to you.

Some people can find it helpful to create a safety plan that they can go to and use when they are feeling overwhelmed. This can include whatever you think will be most helpful to you.

Working on this with a trained and trusted adult is best as it will help them to support you better and they will have good advice and thoughts about what to include. This could be a GP, counsellor or school nurse.

Generally, a safety plan includes:

• Personal warning signs that you are starting to struggle.

• Some ideas for coping strategies or things to help distract you.

• Numbers and contact information of who you can speak to. This should include contact information for your family and friends as well as details of professional support. You can find a list of support services at the bottom of this page, or by clicking here.

• Ways to keep yourself safe.

• What to do in an emergency.

Below are two examples of safety plans which you might find helpful to use:

• See Liverpool CAMHS printable safety plan here.
• See Papyrus’ guide to safety plans here.​​​​​​.

Letting someone know about your thoughts, plans, or experiences self-harming can help you find and get support.

It can take courage to open up and talk to someone about self-harm. But just remember, you are not alone and there is support available to you.

Find someone that you feel safe and comfortable with and think about how you would like to talk to them. This might be face-to-face, by text, writing some of your thoughts down, or on a call.

Speak to a friend or family member - do you have a friend or adult that you trust that you could speak to? It can be a difficult conversation, but the people in your life want you to be okay and will want to help support you in staying safe.

Speak to someone at your school - if you are struggling to find the words to say to someone close to you, speaking to a trusted adult at your school could be a good way to find support like a teacher, pastoral support staff, school nurse or counsellor.

Speak to your Doctor - you can speak to your doctor, and they will help you find the right support. This might be through managing your feelings, creating safety plans, or you might be offered counselling or therapy to help manage your feelings.

You can find more advice on how to talk about self-harm on the NHS website here.