Your identity is made up of lots of different things – a unique set of characteristics which make you, you. This could include your ethnicity, or religious beliefs. It could be who your friends are, or the place you live.
It’s just who you are.
It can be difficult to pinpoint your identity when it grows and changes as we get older and experience new things. But having a better sense of it can help give you a foundation to feel more settled and secure in yourself.
Figuring out who you are
You’d think it’d be easy to figure out your identity, considering you spend 100% of your time with yourself. But in reality it takes time to discover who you are.
Sometimes you might have questions about where you fit in – Who am I? What am I in to? What kind of person am I? And if you struggle to answer these questions it might make you feel like you don’t know yourself well after all. But don’t worry, we’ve got some tips to help you figure things out.
Ok, but how do I get started?
There are lots of things which can get in the way of figuring out who we are – our emotions, our friends or social media, to name a few. The trick is to pay attention to how you react and feel in different situations and understanding that these are all clues to solving your identity.
To help find yourself you could try identifying your:
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Strengths – think about what you are good at and write them down (this could be things like sport or listening to your friends).
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Boundaries – we all have boundaries. Boundaries are like a set of guidelines people make to protect their own wellbeing and mental health, and they help shape us. Think about what yours are, and what is acceptable to you and what is not.
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Goals – think about what you want to achieve, and what motivates you. Personal goals can be small things like writing a journal every day, or bigger ones like learning to drive.
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Values – think about what is important to you, like what kind of person or friend do you want to be?
When you write down or think about these things, it might help you realise who you are, and to feel proud of yourself.
[You could] try and experiment with the way you present yourself. Buy different clothes from charity shops and see what you feel best in.
Young person
Be yourself
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of all. It takes time to develop, understand, and sometimes accept who we are, and that’s okay.
Life can make you feel like you don’t belong, but we know you do. If you would like more help we’re here with services and information that can make life a little lighter.
How to access support
We are all wonderfully unique, which is why the right support will look different to everyone. There are lots of types of support, it’s all about finding out what’s going to be best for you.
What is anxiety?
It is very normal to feel anxious sometimes - everyone does - and you shouldn’t ever be embarrassed to talk about it. Here we look at some of the reasons why it happens, as well as some tips and advice to combat it.
Autism and mental health
Just like anyone, autistic people can have good mental health or experience mental health problems. If you’re autistic, we’re here to help you find support for your mental health if you need it.
All of the information on this page was created with practising health professionals. This page was reviewed in April 2025. We will next review the page in 2028.