Five to Thrive: Talk

When you talk with your child, you’re helping to build their language skills, understanding of the world, and emotional wellbeing. It’s through these conversations that children learn new words, express their feelings, and develop confidence to share their thoughts. 

Your baby loves hearing your voice. Talking to them helps create important patterns in their brain that support language and connection. 

You can try: 

• Talking to reassure and comfort your baby. 
• Listening to their noises and talking back to them as if you’re having a conversation. 
• Singing nursery rhymes and simple songs. 
• Involving your baby in daily routines by describing what you’re doing, like saying, “Let’s change your nappy,” while gently touching and naming their arms and legs. 
• Telling your baby what’s coming next and show them objects involved, like the nappy before putting it on. 

Take your time with care routines, giving your baby your full attention and explaining each step softly. This helps them feel safe, prepares them for what’s next, and teaches kind, respectful communication. 

You might notice you naturally speak to your baby in a sing-song voice, with a higher pitch and slower pace. This helps your baby recognize the conversation is for them. Making eye contact and using clear, simple words keeps their attention. It’s normal if your baby looks away sometimes - they’re absorbing and processing what you say. 

Talking with your child is key to helping them express themselves and make sense of the world around them. Toddlers especially need you to give them the words to describe new experiences, explain what they can and cannot do, and help them understand how they feel. 

To get your toddler’s attention, remember, young children often have a ‘single focus’ and can get easily distracted, try using their name and making funny sounds, like animal noises, or varying the tone of your voice. These playful strategies can help hold their attention and make conversations more engaging. 

As your child moves into the pre-school years, conversations can become even richer. Chat about what they’re most excited about, such as starting school, and share positive stories from your own experiences. Talking openly about their feelings, actions, and how to get emotional cues from their body can help them develop important problem-solving skills. You’ll find information on how to help them identify their emotions in our Five to Thrive Relax page. 

Tips for talking with toddlers  

• Ask open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer to encourage your child to express their thoughts and feelings, for example, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think will happen next?” 
• Use everyday moments like mealtime or play to build vocabulary by talking about what’s happening, for example, “We need to buy carrots today. They’re crunchy and orange.” 
• Name your own feelings to help your child understand and express theirs, for example, “I’m feeling happy because we’re playing together”. 
• Be patient and give your child time to respond without rushing. Pause and wait for them to reply without interrupting. 
• Praise their efforts to communicate, even if their words aren’t perfect. 

As children grow, their communication needs and abilities become more complex. With older children and teens, encouraging meaningful conversations helps them develop critical thinking, emotional awareness, and confidence. 

• Use open-ended questions that invite your child to explain their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. For example, if your child is playing with a toy car, you might say, “That’s a nice blue car. Where do you think it’s going?” This not only sparks imagination but also encourages descriptive language. 
• Get down to their level physically to engage more effectively. When you see what they are focusing on, you can join the conversation more naturally and show that you’re interested in their world. 
• Repeat and expand on what they say to model language and deepen the conversation. For example, if your child says, “The car is going to the zoo,” you might respond, “Who do you think is in the car going to the zoo?” This helps build vocabulary and encourages your child to think more about the story they’re telling. 

For teenagers, conversations often become richer when you show curiosity about their feelings, interests, and opinions. Try asking questions like: 

• “I noticed you’ve been listening to that band a lot lately. What do you like about their music?” 
• “How did you feel after that game or class today?” 
• “What do you think about that news story or event?” 
• “If you were in that character's situation, what do you think would be a good way to react?” 
• “What was the best part of your day? Was there anything that was tricky or frustrating?” 

Sharing your own experiences can also help teens open up, for example, “When I was your age, I remember feeling nervous about starting something new. What are your thoughts on that?” 

Some tips for talking to your teen: 

• Encourage sharing feelings and ideas: Talking about emotions and experiences helps older children and teens develop emotional intelligence and problem-solving skills. 
• Respect their independence: Teens may want space to talk on their own terms. Let them know you’re there to listen whenever they’re ready and keep conversations open and judgement-free. 
• Use everyday moments like mealtimes, car rides, or walks as natural opportunities to chat without pressure. 
• Be patient and listen actively: Give your child time to express themselves without interrupting or rushing the conversation. Show you’re listening through eye contact and nodding. 

Talking with your child each day, whether they’re a baby babbling or a teenager sharing their opinions, builds connection, confidence, and emotional wellbeing. It doesn’t have to be perfect or long conversation, it will still help you bond and support their healthy brain development. 

Today, have you: 

• Praised your child for something they said, did, or tried? 
• Given them time and space to respond in their own way? 
• Repeated or built on their words, sounds, or babbles? 
• Talked with them about everyday things or how they’re feeling? 
• Used a calm, soft voice, even during tricky moments? 
• Tried to understand what they’re communicating through cries, actions, or silence? 
• Really listened to what they were saying, or trying to say? 

Even small moments of connection through talk can make a big difference. Every conversation, no matter how simple, is helping your child grow, feel heard, and feel loved. 

This page was co-produced in partnership with KCA. 

All of the information on this page was created with practising health professionals. This page was reviewed in December 2025. We will next review the page in 2028.