How to support your child if they’re being bullied or cyberbullied

How common is bullying? 

Any child can experience bullying and it’s often more common than we realise. In 2023 in England and Wales, an estimated 34.9% of young people aged 10 to 15-years-old experienced in-person bullying, while 19.1% experienced online bullying, also known as cyberbullying (Office for National Statistics, 2024). In Scotland 31% of children aged from 8-15 reported experiencing bullying, 80% of them said it happened at school (Scottish Government, 2023). In Northern Ireland 42% of 16-year-olds said they had been bullied in school at some point in the past (House of Commons Library, 2020).  

But there are signs of bullying you can look out for and tools you can use to help your child.  

What is bullying?  

Bullying is when someone repeatedly behaves in a way that is meant to hurt, frighten, or upset another person. 

It can be physical, emotional, or psychological, and can include any behaviour that feels belittling (making someone feel unimportant or less in some way), intimidating, or threatening.  

Bullying is often assumed to involve someone who’s bigger, stronger, or more popular picking on others with less power than them. But that's not always how it works. Sometimes, a child who’s smaller, younger, or seen as having less social status can also bully others through teasing, embarrassment, or exclusion. 

It can happen in person or online, which is sometimes known as cyberbullying.  

Bullying can take many forms including:  

• Physical bullying like punching, pinching, hitting, or kicking.  

• Verbal bullying like name calling, teasing, or inappropriate sexual comments. 

• Social or emotional bullying like purposefully embarrassing someone, spreading rumours, leaving someone out on purpose, or telling others not to be friends with someone.   

This behaviour can happen in person, but it can also happen online, which is known as cyberbullying.  

What is cyberbullying? 

Cyberbullying is the use of digital technology to bully someone. It can take place through social media, messaging apps, online forums or games.  It might involve posting or sharing mean comments, spreading rumours, or sending hurtful images or videos. 

In 2024 the World Health Organisation reported that one in six school-aged children in England, Scotland and Wales had experienced cyberbullying (World Health Organisation, 2024). 

Cyberbullying can happen in different ways, including when a person: 

• Sends hurtful or threatening messages. 

• Uses in-game chat to spam or harass. 

• Impersonates someone through social media. 

• Distributes fake or embarrassing photos of someone. 

• Shares someone’s personal information. This is also known as doxxing. 

• Organises a pile-on. This is when individuals join together to harass, annoy, or threaten a person or online community.   

• Excludes people from online spaces or groups. 

• Uses artificial intelligence (AI) to create bullying content. 

Cyberbullying is just one type of online harm children may face, and it can overlap with other risks.  If you want more information on keeping your child safe when they’re online we’ve got advice and guidance to help you.  

While bullying can happen solely online, for many children it doesn’t stay in the digital world. Online and in-person bullying are often connected (Ofcom, 2024) so it’s not always easy to separate the two. 

Signs your child is being bullied  

Wherever the bullying is happening children who are experiencing it can feel helpless and might not feel comfortable talking about it with you. They may also try and hide what’s going on because they’re scared your involvement could make things worse or they don’t want to worry you. This can make it really hard to know exactly what’s happening or what you can do to help. So, if you don’t pick up on thing straight away don’t be too hard on yourself.  

Every situation is different, but some indicators a child is being bullied can include:  

• A sudden or unexpected reluctance to go to school, including pretending to be sick or skipping school.  

• Repeatedly coming home with broken or lost possessions. 

• Injuries that are hard to explain. 

• Changes in computer or phone usage. 

• Changes in their mood or behaviour, like a loss of self-confidence, being grumpier than usual, or spending more time alone in their room.  

• Changes in their usual sleeping or eating habits. 

• Asking for money with no evidence that they’re spending it on themselves. 

• Changes in their academic performance or attitude at school. This could include a reluctance to participate in things or displaying challenging behaviour, which can include bullying others. 

How to support your child if they’re being bullied  

It can be really difficult to learn that your child is being bullied, and sometimes even harder if they don’t want to talk about it. Children often worry that telling an adult might make things worse, so it’s important to approach the conversation gently and try to understand how things feel from their point of view. 

Your child should feel like their home is a safe space where they can talk honestly to you about their experiences and worries. Remind them that they can come to you to talk about anything and that you’ll always be there to listen and help them.  

If your child does tell you they’re being bullied:  

• Try to stay calm and write down what they have told you, including names and dates if they remember. Encourage them to keep a diary of what happens so you have a record. 

• Talk to your child about how they're feeling and help them understand and name their emotions.  If they’re feeling anxious, we’ve got guidance on how you can support them.

• Reassure your child they have a right to be safe. Let them know that what’s happening isn’t their fault. 

• Don’t confront the parents or carers of your child’s bully yourself. Instead, speak to your child’s teachers or the school’s pastoral or safeguarding team (if you’re unsure who they are, ask your child’s class or form teacher or at school reception) so they can put the right support in place. Pastoral and safeguarding teams support children’s wellbeing and protect them from harm, so they should be well placed to help you and your child. 

Get information from your child’s teachers about the next steps, who your main contact will be and and who you can contact if the bullying continues or your child needs more support. 

What you can do if the bullying is happening online 

If your child is experiencing cyberbullying: 

• Gather evidence like screenshots of messages or posts. You can show these to school if the bullying is happening off-and online, or potentially the police. 

• Most platforms have policies against behaviours like spamming, offensive comments, or hate speech. You can help your child: 

  • Report abusive messages or accounts directly to the platform or website. 

  • Use blocking features to stop bullies from contacting them. 

  • Review their privacy settings to limit who can see or comment on their posts.

• Discuss how personally responding to cyberbullying is not always helpful.  You might want to talk about the expression ‘don’t feed the trolls’. Help them focus on steps that make them feel safe and supported offline, such as talking to you, a teacher, or another trusted adult. 

Bullying is not a specific criminal offence in the UK. However, some types of online behaviour could qualify as a criminal offence. Examples of behaviours which are illegal are: 

• Threats to kill or to cause somebody harm. 

• Hate speech, like racism or homophobia. 

• Sharing private or sexual photos or videos without consent, sometimes called ‘revenge porn’. However, if anyone in the photos or videos is under 18 this is child sexual abuse material (CSAM). It is illegal to make, possess, distribute, or show this to anyone. This applies to situations where both sender and recipient are under 18 and have created and shared images consensually. 

If you believe your child is in danger or the bullying includes any of these behaviours, you should contact the police. 

If sexual images or videos of your child have ended up online, and they are under 18, Report Remove, which is run by Childline, and the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) can help get them taken down and support you.   

We’ve got more advice on guidance on how to help keep your child safe online.

How to get the right support from your child’s school 

If your child has spent some time out of school because of bullying, the staff at your child’s school will want to work with you and your family so that their return is as smooth as possible. 

This might involve creating a support plan, agreeing clear next steps, and deciding on other measures that might help your child settle back in school for the long term.  

When you talk to your child’s teachers about your concerns:  

• Try to stay calm and remember that they may not know that your child is being bullied or may have heard a different version of events. 

• Be as specific as possible about what your child has told you. Include dates, names, places, and any information you may think will be helpful. 

• Make a note on what action the school intends to take. 

• Ask if there is anything extra you can do to support your child and build their confidence. 

• Stay in regular contact with the school, let them know how things are going and update them if things improve, as well as if more action is needed. 

The Anti-Bullying Alliance has more helpful information and advice on how to support your child if they’re being bullied. 

What should I do if my child has been accused of bullying? 

Finding out that your child has been accused of bullying can be hard. You might feel shocked, upset, or unsure how to respond, but anyone can bully behaviour. It’s important to remember that children who show bullying behaviour often need understanding and support to help them make positive changes. 

There are many reasons why a child might behave in this way. Sometimes, they may be copying what they’ve seen their friends do, or feeling pressure to fit in. Children can also mirror the behaviour they see from others including older siblings, peers, or even adults in their lives. In some cases, bullying can be a sign that a child is struggling with difficult emotions or situations, such as stress at home or being affected by domestic abuse. 

If you think your child may be acting in a bullying way: 

• Talk to them calmly and gently about the behaviour you’ve noticed, or what others have told you. Take time to hear your child's side of the story but keep an open mind. Try to listen without judgment so they feel safe being honest. 

• Help them explore the reasons why they might be behaving that way. Ask questions to help your child think about what might be behind their actions. They may be feeling pressured to act in a particular way, feel left out, have low self-esteem or be unsure how to manage their emotions. Make sure your child isn’t responding to bullying they’re experiencing, or have experienced, by bullying others. Explore whether bullying is part of a wider issue in their school or peer group. For example, you could ask them, “Have you noticed if other people in your group act this way too?” Or “are there people who get left out or targeted regularly?” This can help your child open up about group dynamics or pressures they may be experiencing. Sometimes harmful behaviour stems from wanting to impress peers, avoid becoming a target themselves, or cope with challenges they don’t know how to express. Encouraging an honest, calm conversation can give you insight into what’s really going on and help your child recognise the impact of their actions. 

• It might be that your child’s current friends are having a negative impact on how they behave. Try talking about what being a good friend really means, and encourage them to build more positive relationships.  

• Focus on the behaviour rather than the child. Remember to name and label the behaviour and not the person as the source of the problem. Explain that the behaviour isn’t a part of who they are, it’s a behaviour they can change. This can help children recognise that they can make different choices and change the way they engage toward others. 

• If it’s online they might be unaware of how hurtful cyberbullying behaviour can be or think it’s less serious than offline bullying. Talk to them about how words and actions online can have a real emotional impact, and that even seemingly small messages, posts or jokes can cause someone to feel isolated, scared, or upset. 

• Encourage empathy by talking about how their behaviour might make others feel. Help them think about how they can put things right and make kinder choices in future. 

• If the behaviour is happening at school, work together with teachers and school staff understand what’s happening and find ways to support positive behaviour. 

It’s never too late for a child to learn from their mistakes. Encourage your child to take responsibility for their actions and think about what they can do to make things better whether that’s offering a sincere apology, including someone who has been left out, or finding small ways to show kindness. Celebrate any effort they make to change, no matter how small. 

The Anti-Bullying Alliance has more information if your child has been accused of bullying others.

Need further help and support if your child is experiencing bullying or cyberbullying? 

• The NSPCC has information and advice for parents and carers on bullying and cyberbullying. 

• Childline has advice for children and young people who might be experiencing bullying and cyberbullying. 

• Kidscape has information on cyberbullying and digital safety. 

• If the situation is affecting your child’s wellbeing, we’ve got resources written for young people on looking after your mental health. 

 All of the information on this page was created with practising health professionals. This page was reviewed in December 2025. We will next review the page in 2028.