Signs of anxiety in children and young people: understanding and supporting them

This page shares advice to help you understand what anxiety in children and young people looks like, what can contribute to it, how to support your child, and where and when to turn for professional help. 

On this page our experts share information about  

• What anxiety is and what causes it. 
• Common signs and symptoms of anxiety in children and teens. 
• Practical ways you can help and support them. 

Anxiety is a natural emotional response when you feel threatened, worried, or under pressure. Everybody experiences it from time to time. Sometimes it can feel like it comes out of nowhere, with no obvious trigger.  

Anxiety is a normal response to stress or perceived danger, something our bodies evolved to help keep us safe. When we’re anxious it activates the body’s fight or flight system - releasing adrenaline, increasing our heart rate, and redirecting blood to muscles. This can cause physical symptoms like nausea (when you feel like you’re going to be sick) or a racing heart. This helped our ancestors react quickly to dangers, like facing a wild animal. But the brain can’t always tell the difference between physical threats and the everyday challenges we might face today, such as school stress or social worries. That’s why anxiety can feel so intense, even when we’re not in real danger. 

For children and young people, anxiety becomes a concern when it starts interfering with daily life - like avoiding school, friends, or activities they enjoy. At that point, it’s important to seek support. 

The good news is that with understanding and practice, you and your children can learn to recognise these physical signs and respond in more helpful ways. Over time, this helps retrain their brain and body to manage stress more calmly and confidently. 

Anxiety is more likely to occur at times of transition, it can also be connected to things like: 

• Relationships with friends, family, classmates or peers. 
• School pressures, exams or academic expectations. 
• Body changes, appearance, physical health or their gender or sexual identity. 
• Bullying or abuse. 
• Major changes, grief, loss or traumatic experiences. 
• Social media comparison and fear of judgement.  

But it can be more generalised, and sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint something specific causing it.  

When anxiety follows a difficult or traumatic event  

Sometimes, symptoms of anxiety can begin after a child has experienced or witnessed something distressing such as an accident, bullying, a serious injury, bereavement, or another event where they felt scared or unsafe. In these situations, it’s helpful to understand that the brain and body are responding to trauma, and that this is a normal part of processing a frightening experience. 

For many children and young people, these symptoms gradually settle over time as they recover. However, if the effects are still ongoing after a few months, or are significantly impacting daily life, it may be helpful to speak with a professional for further support. 

If you need some more support the charity Young Minds has information and advice if your child is struggling with the effects of trauma. 

The UK Trauma Council also has information on childhood trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Anxiety shows up differently depending on age and personality. It doesn’t always look like worry. Children and teens often show it through changes in behaviour, mood, or sleep. 

Signs of anxiety by age 

Each child is different. While age can give a rough idea of how anxiety might look in your child, use this as a supportive guide, not a strict timeline. At all ages avoidance can be a key sign that a child is feeling anxious, if they’re starting to steer clear of particular situations, people, or places it might be because it’s a cause of worry or discomfort.  

While avoidance can be an indication that a child or young person is feeling anxious, it can also be part of normal development, such as shyness in younger children or social sensitivity in teenagers. In some cases, cultural norms and expectations around communication, independence, or social behaviour may also shape how a child responds to certain situations, and this may be misinterpreted as anxiety. 

When a young child is feeling anxious, they might not be able to understand or put into words how they’re feeling. Instead, they might:  

• Become tearful, clingy, irritable or fearful. 
• Struggle to fall sleep or wake up in the night   
• Start wetting the bed or have frequent bad dreams. 
• Refuse to go to places that make them anxious such as school or parties. 

Older children and teenagers may also:   

• Seem nervous, restless or “on edge” all the time.   
• Have lots of negative thoughts or “what if...” worries, believing that terrible things are going to happen.  
• Sleep poorly or have trouble winding down and feel tired and fatigued. 
• Find it difficult to concentrate.   
• Be grumpy and irritable   
• Experience headaches, stomach aches, dizziness or other physical symptoms. 
• Avoid friends, family or social situations.   
• Be critical of themselves, become perfectionists or fearful of making mistakes. 
• Lose their appetite or overeat. 
• See a decline in academic performance or refuse to go to school. 
• Use excessive screen time as a coping strategy. 

Sometimes anxiety may present through behaviour, for example, anger, mood swings, or seeming disconnected. You, as a parent or carer, will often know if your child seems different. Trust your instincts. 

But if you don’t spot it right away and someone else, like a friend or teacher, raises concerns - perhaps due to things like school avoidance or changes in behaviour - please don’t be hard on yourself. Children and young people often go to great lengths to hide how they’re feeling, even from those closest to them. If your child hasn’t shared their worries with you directly, it’s not necessarily a reflection of your relationship. In fact, it can sometimes be a sign that they’re developing independence and trying to manage things on their own, even if it becomes clear they could use some support. 

If this happens, your first instinct might be to ask why they didn’t come to you but try to respond with curiosity rather than judgment. Instead of focusing on why they didn’t tell you sooner, focus on how you can support them now. 

A panic attack is an intense rush of fear or anxiety.  

Anxiety and panic attacks are closely connected. Ongoing anxiety can sometimes build up and lead to a panic attack. However, not everyone with anxiety will have panic attacks, and not everyone who has a panic attack, has an anxiety disorder. Some people experience a panic attack out of the blue, for example at times of extreme stress, even if they don’t usually feel anxious. 

A panic attack is an intense rush of fear or anxiety. They don’t last long, usually between five and 30 minutes. They can be really frightening to experience, but they're not dangerous and should not harm you.  

They can include one or more of the following symptoms: 

• Racing heartbeat or palpitations. 
• Sweating, trembling or shaking. 
• Shortness of breath or feelings of choking, 
• Dizziness or light-headedness. 
• Numbness or a tingling sensation in the hands or feet. 
• Hot and cold flashes. 
• Fear of dying or losing control. 
• Feeling unreal, disconnected from surroundings. 

A panic attack can be extremely distressing, especially if the person doesn’t realise that their symptoms are due to anxiety. Let your child know they are safe and that help is available. 

There’s information about anxiety, fear and panic on the NHS website. 

Support from parents, carers, and other trusted adults, as well as peers, can make a huge difference. Everyone is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to managing anxiety. Try out different strategies together and encourage your child to explore what feels most helpful and works best for them. 

Here are some gentle, practical ways you can help: 

1. Create a supportive environment: Let them know it’s okay to experience anxiety, and you’re there to listen without judgment. Saying things like, “I’m here to help you work through this, whenever you’re ready” can go a long way. Try to let them make the decision about where and when to have these conversations. It's more likely to go well if they’ve instigated things. 
2. Talk about their worries: Try to discuss what’s troubling them in everyday language. Ask what they’re thinking, what worries them the most, what they feel physically. Help them name their feelings. If talking is difficult they could draw or write as an alternative way to express their feelings. 
3. Don’t dismiss their concerns: Telling a child with anxiety that “there’s nothing to worry about” can feel dismissive and may make them feel misunderstood or more anxious. Try to show them that you want to understand what they’re feeling and that you wish to support them in finding healthy ways to manage their thoughts and feelings, instead of brushing it off or trying to fix it instantly. 
4. Gently discourage avoidance:  If your child avoids things that make them anxious, such as school or a busy shop, their negative thoughts about that situation will increase and their anxiety can grow. Rather than allowing them to avoid it, support them to safely face their fears step by step. This helps them build courage and resilience and will reduce levels of anxiety. 
5. Support healthy routines: Predictable schedules, regular sleep, balanced meals, physical activity, getting outside and breaks from screens all help reduce anxiety. Even small routines give a sense of control. 

1. Talk about coping strategies: Such as deep breathing or “belly breaths”, grounding techniques, journaling or drawing feelings, using a mindfulness app, taking a walk or stepping outside for fresh air. There’s more information on these techniques below.  
2. Encourage skills, not perfection:  Mistakes and challenges are part of growing up. Help your child see what they’ve achieved, no matter how small. Praise effort, not just outcomes. Reassure them that you’re there to support them unconditionally.  
3. Help them build a support network: Sometimes they might prefer talking to someone else, for example a family friend, teacher, counsellor, school nurse, or friend. Encourage them to think about who might be a good person to talk to so when they feel they’re ready to reach out, there’s someone there for them. 

“There’s nothing to worry about.” 

• It may seem reassuring, but it can feel like you’re ignoring their feelings. Anxiety isn’t always logical, but it feels real to them. 

• Try instead: “I can see this is really worrying for you. Let’s talk about it together.” 

“Stop worrying.” 

• If your child could stop, they would. Telling them to stop worrying can increase shame or frustration. 

• Try instead: “It’s okay to feel worried sometimes. Let’s think about what might help you feel better.” 

“You’re being silly.” 

• Dismissing their fear as silly can damage their confidence and trust in opening up to you. 

• Try instead: “I understand that this feels really big for you right now.” 

“Just calm down.” 

• This may sound like a command rather than support and may add pressure. 

• Try instead: “Let’s take some slow breaths together and see if that helps you feel a bit calmer.”

One of the most powerful ways to support a child with anxiety is to help them understand that anxiety is a normal response to stress or perceived danger. Everyone feels anxious at times, and while it can feel overwhelming, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with your child. 

When they learn what anxiety is and why it shows up, it becomes less frightening. They can start to see it as something they can learn to live with and manage, rather than something they have to avoid or "get rid of". 

These strategies are grouped into physical, thinking, and behavioural approaches to help your child build a toolbox of ways to cope. Try different ideas and see what works for your child. Practicing these techniques when your child is relaxed can help them become familiar and easier to use when anxiety strikes. 

You know your child best. If they’re old enough, talk to them about what helps and involve them in choosing which strategies to try. Keep track of what works well and remember that no single strategy works for everyone, every time. 

Anxiety doesn’t disappear overnight, but over time, with support and practice, your child can learn to reduce it, manage it and feel more in control. 

When you are helping someone with their anxiety, it’s easy to forget to look after your own wellbeing. If you're stressed or exhausted, it’s harder to support your child, so be kind to yourself. Remember you are human and, like your child, when you are anxious and worried you may not always respond to other people’s behaviour in the best way.  

It’s also very common for parents and carers of children with anxiety to have experienced it themselves at some point. If your child’s anxiety is linked to a traumatic event, it’s also possible that you, or others close to them, were affected by the same experience. Recognising this can be an important step in understanding what both you and your child might need to feel supported. 

Make sure to take breaks, talk to someone you trust, or even get professional help if you need it. By looking after your own mental health, you're also showing your child how to cope with stress in a healthy way. 

If you feel like you and your child are struggling, try to: 

• Give each other space, but make sure they know that they can always talk to you. 
• Let your child know it's okay to feel anxious. 
• Model healthy coping strategies and encourage them to join in. 
• Encourage them to draw on their wider support network. 

Supporting a child with anxiety can feel tough, but it does get better. With your care and support, they can learn to manage their feelings. Creating an understanding environment and getting extra support will help you both to navigate this challenging time. Stay hopeful.  Things can improve, and over time your child can build the confidence and skills to manage their anxiety and face life’s challenges. It’s not always about getting rid of anxiety completely but learning how to live with it in a way that doesn’t hold them back

You don’t need to wait for a crisis to get support. If your child’s anxiety is affecting their everyday life such as school, their friendships or home life, it’s okay to ask for help. You might consider speaking to a professional if: 

• Anxiety has lasted several weeks or more. 
• They are avoiding school or daily activities. 
• Their sleep is regularly disrupted. 
• They’re having panic attacks or physical symptoms without clear medical cause. 
• They mention self-harm or feeling hopeless. 
• They ask to speak to a professional. 

You can explore help via: 

• Your doctor: They can provide information, advice, and discuss counselling or therapy options if needed. They can also refer them to a mental health specialist. 
• School: It can be helpful to speak with your child’s school to share what’s going on and find out how they’re doing in that environment. But before you do, check that your child feels okay with this. These conversations aren’t just about flagging anxiety; they’re also a chance to explore what might be contributing to it. For example, your child might be struggling to understand the curriculum, experiencing bullying or feeling overwhelmed. Their school might be able to provide mental health support such as drop-in chat sessions, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), or a peer buddy. Depending on your circumstances, they may also be able to support a referral to a local children and young people's mental health service. 
• A counsellor or therapist: If it’s the right path for them, your child’s doctor or school may be able to refer them to a counsellor or therapist. They will be able to help your child better understand any difficult thoughts and feelings.  
• In different parts of the country, we provide different types of mental health support. There may be a service near you that you and your child could access. Use our service finder to find out about what we offer near you. 
• We’ve also got mental health resources written for young people you could share with them.  
• There’s information about anxiety in children on the NHS website. 
• Young Minds has resources for parents on supporting a child with anxiety as well as a guide to anxiety for young people. 

All of the information on this page was created with practising health professionals. This page was reviewed in December 2025. We will next review the page in 2028.