Helping siblings get along

For many, having a brother or sister can be one of the greatest gifts of childhood. They share experiences, memories, and a deep connection that can last a lifetime. But even close siblings can experience challenges. Jealousy, conflict, or changes in the family, like a new baby, can affect how children relate to one another. This page offers advice from our Family Support Workers to help you guide your children through the ups and downs of sibling relationships. 

The arrival of a little brother or sister can be exciting but also confusing or worrying for a child, especially if they're young or don’t fully understand what’s happening. 

Tips for preparing your child for the arrival of a new sibling: 

• Wait for the right time to share the news: Very young children may find it hard to understand time. Sharing the news too early might lead to endless questions like “is the baby here yet?” 
• Talk positively and calmly: When you do share the news, show that you're happy and excited. They’ll take their cues from you and feel reassured. 
• Prepare for the questions like, "how did the baby get in your tummy?" Children don’t need all the biological details, just a simple explanation that makes sense for their age. 
• Use storybooks and play: Books about becoming a big brother or sister can help your child imagine what’s to come. Talk about how they’ll be involved. 
• Reassure them: They may worry about sharing toys, space, or your attention. Let them know there’s enough love to go around. 

After the new baby arrives 

It’s common for children to show signs of regression after a new sibling is born so they might ask for help with things they previously managed on their own. This should only last a short time. 

Some good ways to help them cope with anxieties or feelings of jealousy they may be experiencing are: 

• Involving them:  Ask them for help with small baby-related tasks such as choosing outfits or handing you nappies. You could also ask them to name any new toys the baby receives. Praise their efforts when they do help. 
• Managing visitors thoughtfully: Ask friends and family to greet older children first so they don’t feel overlooked. 
• Keep reassuring them: Let them know that you are there for them should they have any worries or concerns. 

Children feel loved and secure when they have individual special time with parents or care givers. Even just a few minutes of one-to-one time each day can reduce behavioural issues and improve their emotional wellbeing. 

Each day try and find 15 minutes to enjoy some child-led play time with each of your children. Allow your child to choose what they would like to play with and follow their lead. Helping each child feel like an only child every day helps them to feel loved and listened to. 

Learning to share, take turns, and resolve disagreements are important life skills. Sibling relationships are a key place where children develop these. 

Things to try to help your children get along: 

• Role-model positive language: When you’re talking to your children try and use the language you’d like them to use. For example, “Please can I play with the blue car?”, “Thank you for letting me have a turn”. 
• Notice and give specific praise: When your child is behaving well let them know what they’re doing right. For example, “That was kind of you to share the crayons with your sister.” If they are playing nicely you may want to avoid interrupting but telling your children that you’re happy by giving them a thumbs up, a smile, or by praising them with a, “you’re playing so well together” will encourage them to do it again.  

Listening to their children bicker and argue can be really triggering for lots of parents. Hard as it can be, try to remember that sibling conflict is normal, your family is not the only one experiencing it. These moments help children learn about boundaries, resolving differences and emotional regulation, skills that are needed throughout their lives. 

How to handle conflict: 

• Stay calm and be fair: Set clear expectations and manage arguments with consistency. 
• Create family rules together: Children are more likely to follow rules they help create. Examples might include: “We speak kindly to each other.” or “We take turns.” 
• Let them try to solve it: Give children a chance to resolve disagreements themselves. Remind your children of the family rules they created and allow them time to sort issues between them. Sometimes they may need some help from you in problem-solving and negotiating to ensure arguments don’t turn into physical fights. 
• Have clear consequences: If conflict escalates, use agreed upon consequences, for example, turning off the TV if they can’t agree what to watch. 
• Stay as calm as you can and try to avoid shouting or making threats you might not want to follow through on like cancelling a special event.   

Siblings won’t always get along - and that’s okay. What matters most is how you support them to communicate, solve problems, and feel secure in their relationships with you and each other. 

• Read advice from CBeebies on how to prepare your older children for a new baby. 
• Charity Place2Be has information and a video on stopping children fighting. 
• The NCT has guidance on helping children get along. 

All of the information on this page was created with practising health professionals. This page was reviewed in December 2025. We will next review the page in 2028.