Support for children with a parent or relative in prison

It is estimated that close to 200,000 children in England and Wales have a parent in prison (Ministry of Justice, 2024). Some experts believe the real figure could be much higher with as many as 312,000 children affected by parental imprisonment (Kincaid and Roberts, 2019). In 2010 in Northern Ireland, it was estimated that 1500 children have a parent in prison (NIACRO, 2016). In Scotland, between 20,000 and 27,000 children and young people are estimated to be experiencing parental imprisonment each year (Scottish Government, 2014). 

If you’re caring for a child who has a relative in prison, we want you to know you’re not alone. We know it’s tough for them, and for you, and we want to help.

Being separated from a loved one is painful and children often experience a strong mix of feelings like sadness, anger, grief, confusion, and rejection.  

For children with a parent in prison it can feel even harder because they might not know how to talk about their feelings or they may want to keep it a secret out of shame or fear of being judged (Kincaid and Roberts, 2019). 

For children and young people, having a relative in prison can lead to:   

• Physical and mental health challenges.  
• A loss of key support - especially if the relative in prison was their primary carer. 
• Anxiety - because they’re worried about their family member, or the impact on other family members. 
• Trauma - if they witnessed criminal activity, and/or their relative’s arrest. 
• Feelings of loss, rejection, or being different.   
• Unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance misuse. 
• Shame and fear of being judged or bullied. 
• Additional care responsibilities being placed on them. 
• Challenges at school - they may need to miss school to visit a parent and face tough choices about telling teachers. The situation might also affect their focus, learning, and behaviour in class. 

If children do experience these things, a little extra care and support from trusted adults in their life can make a huge impact. You can make a big difference in helping them feel safe, understood, and resilient. 

It’s completely natural to want to protect children when someone they love is sent to prison. Sometimes, families say a parent is working away to avoid difficult conversations. But even young children benefit from knowing the truth. If they hear it from someone else in the community, they may feel confused, betrayed, or even more upset. Being honest, in a way that’s appropriate for their age helps build trust and gives children the support they need to cope. 

When it comes to visiting, children should be given the choice as to whether they wish to go and see their relative, or not, as much as possible. The experience of visiting their relative could cause them to feel many conflicting emotions from comfort to anxiety or distress, so think about how you can support a child before and after a visit.   

Although difficult, try encouraging them to talk with you. Show them you’re a safe place, lead with respect, and keep the conversation free of judgment.  

When speaking to children or young people about their relative in prison remember to:  

• Allow them time and space to feel their emotions. Let them know it’s okay to feel angry, sad, confused. Encourage them to express what they feel, this could be through talking, drawing or writing. 
• Be honest. Use clear, gentle, age‑appropriate words to explain what’s happened. Avoid misleading explanations or euphemisms, which can cause confusion. 
• Listen without judging. Make sure they know they can trust you. You don’t always need all the answers, just being there matters. 
• Discuss their needs with them, focus on what support they might need and reassure them. It’s best to focus on them rather than the relative's offence. 
• Reassure them it’s not their fault as children often blame themselves. Remind them they are not responsible for what’s happened. 
• Discuss support available to them and consider getting in touch with organisations with specialist expertise. We’ve put some ideas of organisations you could speak to below.  

We’re here to make children and young people across the UK safer, happier, healthier and more hopeful. For those with a loved one in prison we offer support in many ways. We run training services for professionals as well as running services in communities and in prisons to help families maintain their relationships.   

We also campaign to get these children's voices heard and their needs addressed so that the justice system’s policies and practices work better for them.  

• If you’re in England or Wales, Prisoners’ Families Helpline offer free, confidential support and advice for families who have a loved one in contact with the criminal justice system. 
• In Northern Ireland, NIACRO help people in prison and their families maintain relationships and access support services. 
• In Scotland, Families Outside support families in affected by imprisonment. 
• Childline have resources for children with a parent or carer in prison. 
• Children Heard and Seen is a charity dedicated to helping children, young people, and families affected by parental imprisonment. 

All of the information on this page was created with practising health professionals. This page was reviewed in December 2025. We will next review the page in 2028.