Supporting you to support them is a service delivered in partnership by Barnardo’s and Greater Essex authorities.
If you live in Essex, Southend-on-Sea, or Thurrock and are worried that someone you know may be experiencing an unhealthy relationship or domestic abuse, we’re here for you.
We can give you information, guidance, and advice on how you can support the person you’re concerned about, while keeping yourself safe.
How to get in touch with us
By phone
You can call us on 01245821179, Monday to Friday, 09:00 - 17:00.
If we don't answer, please leave us a voicemail and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Someone from our team will respond to you within 72 hours of when you get in touch, usually sooner during core operational hours.
Our service does not offer an emergency response. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
By email
You can email us and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.
Request a call back
Complete the form below and we can phone, text, WhatsApp, or email you back.
What can an unhealthy relationship or domestic abuse look like?
Healthy relationships are built on respect, trust, equality, and support. Partners can talk openly, set boundaries, and support each other’s goals. Both people feel safe, valued, and able to be themselves.
Unhealthy or abusive relationships often involve control, fear, or intimidation. Abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, financial, or coercive, and it often develops gradually over time.
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone. It affects people of all ages, backgrounds, genders, and identities. It doesn’t only happen in romantic relationships - it can occur in families, friendships, or any close relationship.
How we can support you
If someone you care about has told you they’re being abused or you’re worried someone may be behaving abusively, it’s normal to feel confused, upset, or unsure what to do. These feelings are completely understandable.
Friends, relatives, neighbours, and others often notice signs long before a person feels ready to speak to a professional. Your support can make a real difference and you don’t have to have all the answers - just being there matters.
Supporting someone in an abusive situation can be challenging and it can be hard for you too. Encouraging someone to recognise harmful behaviour and access help can be difficult, but doing so can improve safety and wellbeing for everyone involved. Our aim is to help people experiencing domestic abuse and people who may be using abusive behaviours to get support as early as possible, and we’re here to support you to support them too.
Want more information about domestic abuse, harmful, or abusive behaviours?
If you suspect someone you care about is experiencing domestic abuse, harmful, or abusive behaviours but aren’t sure or you think they are but don’t know what to do next, we’ve got some information to help you. You’re not alone.
These links will take you to a platform called Padlet. There you’ll find leaflets with information articles and videos resources. You can set your viewing preference in the toolbar by clicking the three-dot icon. This will allow you to change to slide show mode and choose a preferred language.
- Is it abuse? Read information on signs and symptoms of abuse and what to look for.
- I think it’s abuse, what do I do? Read about starting conversations, where to go for support, and how to keep a record of concerns.
- It is abuse, what do I do? Read about safety planning where there is a risk and how to seek urgent help.
- Domestic abuse information for young people. Read about abuse in teenage relationships.
If you need to act quickly to keep someone safe
If you think someone is being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999. You can also report domestic abuse by calling 101 or report to the police online. Specially trained police officers will respond.
When to report a concern about a child
Report to Children’s Services if you are worried that a child or young person:
- is being harmed or neglected.
- is at risk of harm.
- is living in a home where domestic abuse is happening.
- is being exploited, controlled, or coerced.
- is regularly left alone, uncared for, or unsafe.
Request support or report a concern about a child in Essex.
Visit the Southend Children’s Services portal if you are worried about a child.
Report concerns and find links to further information if you live in Thurrock.
When to report a concern about an adult
Report to Adult Social Care if you are worried that an adult:
- is being abused, exploited, or neglected.
- is unable to protect themselves due to age, disability, illness, or vulnerability.
- is living with someone who may be harming or controlling them.
- is at risk because they cannot care for themselves safely.
- is being financially controlled or exploited.
Report a concern about an adult in Essex.
Report a concern about an adult in Thurrock.
Are you a local community group looking to build confidence and awareness among your members or colleagues?
We can deliver talks and interactive sessions with local groups and organisations, please email the Supporting you to support them team to arrange a visit.
Request a call back from Supporting you to support them
Complete the form below and someone from our team will be in touch.
Children affected by domestic abuse
Domestic abuse can have a devastating impact on entire families. If you think a child is being affected by domestic abuse, there are steps you can take to help them feel safe and supported, and services that can guide you through what to do next.
Worried about money?
If you or someone you care about is struggling to afford the essentials, like heating, food or rent, you're not alone. We've got details of organisations and tools that can help you.
Advice on encouraging your child to open up about their feelings
Talking with your child or young person regularly is one of the best ways to support their emotional wellbeing and keep them safe. Whether you're catching up after school or facing a more worrying moment, we've got five expert-backed tips to help you build trust, confidence, and connection.