Bullying and cyberbullying

Bullying can be a distressing experience for a child and for their parents or carers. Children who are bullied may feel helpless and unable to speak out about it.  

In 2022, 40% of year 10’s (14-15 year olds) reported being bullied, with the most common form of bullying being name calling. Bullying can happen to any child, and can affect the child’s learning and mental health. 

There are things you can do to spot the signs of bullying and help to resolve the situation. 

What is bullying? 

Bullying is a repeated behaviour that is intentional in harming or upsetting someone. 

Bullying can be physical, emotional or psychological, and can include belittling, intimidating, or threatening behaviour. It can involve an imbalance of size, strength or power, but doesn’t have to. For example, a child could use their physical strength and size, or play on social power imbalances to bully others, or a child could embarrass, taunt, and harm others even if they are smaller, younger or have a less social power than them. 

This behaviour can happen physically in person and can also happen online which is known as cyberbullying. 

Types of bullying in children 

For children, bullying can take many forms including: 

Physical bullying: 

• punching, pinching, hitting, or kicking 

• tripping or pushing  

• spitting 

Verbal bullying: 

• name calling 

• degrading comments  

• teasing and taunting  

• inappropriate sexual comments  

Social bullying:  

• embarrassing someone 

• leaving someone out on purpose  

• telling others not to be friends with someone  

What is cyberbullying and what platforms does it happen on? 

Cyberbullying is the act of bullying online, typically by sending messages that are intimidating, threatening or degrading. 

Cyberbullying is not limited to social media sites and can happen in online chat rooms and virtual games too, for example. 

In 2020, researched showed that around one in five children aged 10-15 years in England and Wales experienced at least one type of online bullying, equivalent to 764,000 children. 

Signs my child is being bullied 

If you have noticed a difference in your child’s behaviour, and suspect they may be being bullied, it’s important to talk to your child and create a safe space where they feel comfortable with you. 

Every situation is different, but some indicators that a child is being bullied can include: 

• a sudden or unexpected reluctance to go to school for example, trying to avoid going to school by claiming they're sick, or skipping school 

• repeatedly coming home with broken or lost possessions 

• unexplained physical injuries  

• changes in mood or behaviour, such as a loss of self-confidence, being more irritable than usual, or spending more time alone in their room  

• changes in their usual sleeping or eating habits  

• asking for money with no evidence that they are spending it on themselves  

• changes to their school performance or displaying challenging behaviour - potentially such as bullying others 

These signs could be indicators that something is happening to your child, but the only way to know what is happening is to speak with your child about your concerns. 

How to support your child if they’re being bullied 

Children may be reluctant to tell people that they are being bullied for fear that getting parents and teachers involved could make the bullying worse. It’s important to think about how your child feels and ensure your response focuses on supporting them. 

It’s important to create a safe space at home where your child feels they can speak to you about their experiences and worries. Always remind them that they can come to you anytime to talk about anything, and that you will listen and are there to help them. 

If your child tells you they are being bullied: 

• try to stay calm, follow our advice for how to react if children tell you something harmful has happened to them 

• write down what they have told you and the date of the incidents if they remember 

• talk to your child about their feelings and check in with their emotional and physical wellbeing. If your child is feeling overwhelmed try using some calming techniques 

• acknowledge your child’s feelings and help them understand and name their emotions 

• let your child know they have a right to be safe 

• don’t encourage retaliation or fighting back 

• don't confront the parents or carers yourself. Instead, talk with your child’s teachers about the situation and discuss with them the support in place in the school 

• get information from your child’s teachers about the next steps and anyone else you may need to contact  

For further support, information, and tools for dealing with bullying, you can visit the Anti-Bullying Alliance website here.

What to do if your child has been accused of bullying/is displaying bullying behaviours? 

The reasons why some children bully others can be complicated and often indicate that a child who is being accused of bullying needs help and support too.  

Your child may just be following the behaviour of friends and classmates. Children and young people can easily get pulled into group dynamics that can result in bullying. There is some useful information for young people who may be bullying others here.  

Children often copy behaviour that they see from others. If there are adults or older children in their family that are displaying bullying or aggressive behaviour, they may be imitating them. Bullying can be a sign that a child is being affected by domestic abuse.  

How to address bullying behaviour in your child:  

• talk to your child calmly about the behaviour you’ve noticed, or others have told you about 

• when talking, remember to name and label the behaviour and not the person. This can help children recognise that they can change their approach toward others, for example - saying ‘when you keep excluding your sister from your game it really hurts her feelings and makes her feel bad’ helps children focus on behaviour that they can change, but saying ‘you are mean for not letting your sister play’ labels children and their identity 

• encourage your child to think about why they may behave that way. They may be feeling pressured to act like this or may have low self-esteem themselves