Sylvia and David’s story

The couple, who last year celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary, say they have many special moments to treasure from their fostering journey, where they saw the difference that their love and support made to each individual child.    

Prior to becoming foster carers, Sylvia and David had always worked with young people. Sylvia was a nurse and David worked for various charities and churches over the years as a youth worker, youth pastor and director of an outdoor pursuits centre, before working with a charity in Aberdeen to set up a winter care and drop in shelter for the homeless.   

It was here whilst running the homeless centre that one of David’s colleagues, who was also a foster carer, suggested to David that he would be ideal for the role and should consider fostering himself.  

Sylvia said: “Our three sons were all grown up and we recognised that emptiness once they had all become independent. We had both always enjoyed working with young people and so we decided to look into fostering. We chose to go with Barnardo’s as they came highly recommended from David’s colleague, and we were not disappointed.”  

After being approved as carers with Barnardo’s in 2011, the couple started to offer short break care, providing regular weekend breaks for children including a young boy with autism for around two years, before caring full time for two siblings who stayed with them for several years.  

Sylvia said: “There are so many special moments that we shared with each child, from teaching them how to tie their shoelaces and ride their bikes, to helping them to enjoy different foods and mealtimes and supporting them to thrive at school. And emotional moments when one of our foster children introduced us as ‘mum and dad’ to their friends for the first time.”  

After the siblings moved on to a permanent home, Sylvia and David continued to provide short break care for young people and emergency foster care, including a placement for several months for a teenager during the pandemic. Sylvia supported the teenager with their home schooling, helping the young person to be commended as ‘most improved pupil in lockdown’ upon their return to school.  

Our social worker was brilliant and they were always available if any situations arose to help us manage things. We really enjoyed all the training too and got so much from this, so much so that we got involved with delivering training and interview panels for new social workers. Daviid and I also helped to deliver two of the courses to train new Barnardo’s foster carers.” 

Their local church also developed a group to help others explore fostering and support those who were doing it, which Sylvia and David were a key part of. 

When asked about their experiences of fostering teenagers, Sylvia and David said: “I think some people are afraid that they don’t believe they can handle teenagers, but there needs to be a greater understanding around this age group.

"You have to accept that there can be times of trauma, but just as with children of any age, when you show them love, acceptance, encourage their strengths and equip them with life skills, the change and difference you can see in them is so satisfying.

"Most of the teenagers we fostered loved spending time together as a family, getting involved in games together and it was really important to them to feel a part of our family, which they were.”  

During their 10 years fostering, Sylvia and David fostered three pairs of siblings. They said: “We found that fostering siblings was an advantage in helping them to settle in - they come together and value each other being there, having that someone familiar with them.

"Sometimes you could get some rivalry, but when siblings were able to celebrate birthdays and Christmas together, it was so special. They would spark each other up and get excited. They had a stronger sense of family and an identity that they belonged to, and maintaining that connection was extremely important for them.”  

Now that Sylvia and David have retired, they are spending some of their time travelling as they explore Scotland and parts of Europe in their campervan.

Sylvia said: “We are still in touch with most of the young people we fostered and several of our foster children have been to visit us and the campervan since we retired. They were really excited about it so it’s nice we’ve been able to share it with them.”  

Sylvia and David’s advice for anyone considering fostering, is: “Go for it! It’s important to allow yourself to be prepared for the unexpected, and it can be difficult to let the children go, but if you can really love the bones of the kids and accept them for who they are, then the change you can make to the lives of these children and young people who need your support, is just so incredibly worthwhile.”  

Anne Whyte, Assistant Director for Barnardo’s Scotland Family Placement Services said: “The legacy that Sylvia and David have created is far-reaching, through the lives of children they have cared for themselves, to the lives of the many more children who will be looked after in loving homes thanks to the numerous families they encouraged to become foster carers. We thank Sylvia and David for their years of support and wish them every happiness in their retirement.   

“We are asking for others to please give serious consideration as to whether they could give a home to a child when they need it most. We are also particularly appealing for people to consider fostering teenagers and also siblings - your love and support can allow brothers and sisters in care the opportunity to grow up and stay together, making a huge difference to their life – and to yours.   

Barnardo’s has 100 years of experience in fostering. Experts provide all the training needed, which is ongoing, and offer support 24/7. Foster carers will also get financial support, including a carer’s allowance to help make a positive difference to a child’s life.