A woman reads with a baby, another woman smiling in the background

Andi and Laura's story

Three years after living with Laura, a parent and child foster carer, Andi* and her toddler Isla* are thriving. Andi believes that without the support of Laura and her husband Tom, Isla would not be in her care.

Andi came into a parent and a child placement after a domestically abusive relationship led to her two oldest children being removed from her care. When she left her partner, she found she was pregnant. Social Services were concerned she would return to her relationship and stated they would be looking to remove her youngest child, when born, into foster care.

A domestic abuse charity told her about parent and child fostering, where carers provide a supportive and supervised environment. Parent and child fostering aims to prevent children from coming into foster care and allows families to remain together. Andi thought it could be the opportunity she needed to show she could protect her child and keep them in her care, so she asked Social Services about it.

All the way up to it, all the way through my pregnancy, there was a big grey cloud over whether I was going to be able to keep my daughter in my care or whether she was going to be removed. A week before I was due to go into hospital to have her by C-section, I found out I was going to be able to go into a parent and child placement. And believe me, that relief after having such a long and heavy pregnancy was what I needed the most.

Andi

Two days after baby Isla was born, Parent and Child Foster Carer Laura visited Andi in hospital and the two women clicked straight away.

Andi was so clear right from the start that she was really glad to be coming into a placement. I remember her saying ‘thank you so much for giving me the opportunity’ and so I knew that she was coming really wanting to do well and that’s why I went away feeling really confident that this was going to work. 

Laura

Andi and Isla moved into Laura’s home after leaving hospital. They developed a trusting relationship with Laura encouraging Andi to ask questions, helping her to grow in confidence.

Because of having two children removed from my care, I’d been judged so dramatically by social services, by health visitors, by my own family, by everyone who was involved. But even though in my head I believed I was a bad mother, deep in my heart, I knew I could do it. But I needed someone to be able to give me that chance, to give me that courage because it had been squashed inside of me in so many ways by so many different people.

Andi

When Andi came to her, Laura had previously fostered several mothers and children from between twelve to fourteen weeks, usually immediately after they had come out of hospital. These were first time parents with no family support, so Laura’s role involved showing them how to care for their babies.

By contrast, Andi as a mother of three already had some knowledge. Laura’s role was to help her develop confidence in her abilities as a parent, helping her bond with Isla and seeing new ways of doing things that she may not have experienced previously.

I’d missed out on those aspects with my children because I’d been in a domestically violent relationship but I’d also missed out on pointers regarding how to read my child’s cues […] I can remember you, Laura, being there with me and trying to reassure me and help me understand how to read her cues, how to calm her down and work out what it was she was actually wanting. Those moments have stuck with me even though now she’s almost three years old. […] It was us, sitting down, and discussing these things and that has helped me tremendously to understand my own child. 

Andi

Andi’s confidence grew throughout her time with Laura. Nearly three years later, Isla remains in her care and is no longer on the Child Protection Register (a list of children who are identified as being at risk of suffering harm). Andi regularly visits Laura and Tom, who describe her as an adopted daughter.

A woman and man smiling broadly with their arms round each other.

Laura and her husband Tom.

I was extremely grateful. I still am! I look back and I think to myself how things could have been so different. Laura and Tom gave me that opportunity. My daughter would not be in my care if it wasn’t for them.

Andi

Becoming a parent and child foster carer

Find out more about parent and child foster care.

If you would like to help support families to stay together by becoming a parent and child foster carer, complete our fostering enquiry form.

* Names have been changed to protect identities.

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