Fostering teenagers

Myth 1: Teenagers in care can be too challenging because of their behaviour

Teenagers are usually in care for the very same reasons as younger children. In fact, because many have experienced an unstable home for most of their lives, older children in care are arguably the ones most in need of the love, guidance and support a consistent adult can provide. 

The impact and benefits of a good routine and a nurturing environment can make a long-lasting positive difference to the lives of these young people, especially as they are making key decisions about their future, just like all other teens. Behaviour in teenagers, just like all children, is a form of communication so if you can  understand how they are feeling, that can make all the difference. 

 Of course, this may seem daunting to begin with, but if you’re interested in fostering teenagers, we’ll make sure you get the right training and support to equip you with the tools you need to be the best foster carer you can be. 

Myth 2: Fostering a teenager could have a negative impact on my family and children

When we discuss the possibility of fostering older children, a recurring concern is the potential negative influence a young person could have on their own family.  

Some prospective foster carers are reluctant to foster teenagers as they are worried about the effect it will have on their own children. A new young person joining a family may bring challenges to family dynamics, and some children may find it hard to share their space and parents’ attention. Others may find it difficult to say goodbye when a foster child leaves. 

At the same time, it can be an incredibly stressful experience for a teenager to go into a new foster home. So, it’s important that you understand it will take time, patience and understanding for the young person to overcome their anxiety and worries about being part of a new family.  

Our promise to you

As part of the application and assessment process, a Barnardo’s social worker will meet with the children in your family so that they can discuss their thoughts and feelings before you start fostering. If, as a family, you pursue your application to foster, Barnardo’s will work hard to ensure an appropriate match between a fostered teenager and your own family. Your child’s experience will be reviewed regularly in supervision, and comprehensive advice and support will be offered to ensure that their experience of fostering is a happy and positive one. Of course, things do not always go as planned.  

This is why we operate a safe care policy to ensure that all members of your family are kept safe. This is paramount. In the right circumstances, there are many positives that can be gained for children from having foster children in their home. We have so many examples of family members being inspired by a teenager coming into their home, in one case, to work in the social care sector.  

Living in a fostering household can teach children important social and life skills, such as patience, listening, and teamwork. Children who are involved in fostering also have the opportunity to develop their emotional intelligence and empathy, with many going on to become foster carers themselves. It can be difficult at times, of course, but many children from fostering households say that they enjoyed their parents’ fostering and learned a lot from it. More generally, we find that foster carers say the teenagers they welcome into their homes often have a positive influence on their home environment. 

Myth 3:  Teenagers in foster care are beyond help 

As a foster carer, you can be the one to help shape a young person’s mindset and make sure they have every chance to achieve their dreams. Whether that’s helping them with life skills that will help with their independence as a young adult or guiding them through college applications or interviews for their first jobs, you can play a vital role at such a critical stage in a child’s life. 

Teenagers in care are often still open to the kind of nurturing you would give a much younger child, even though they are physically bigger and more experienced. They can often communicate better than younger children and, in most cases, they want to move on with their lives.  

Leo: ‘I can recall working with a 17-year-old girl who had experienced her parents’ long-term alcohol abuse, which led to the premature death of one parent. She had been in care since the age of 12 and suffered very poor mental health at times. However, she also was receptive to the foster carer, who helped her get a part-time job, attend college to study beauty therapy and continue to see her birth family. Of course, there were fall-outs at times, but that relationship was inspiring and ultimately put that girl’s life on a firm footing.’  

Myth 4: I need specific qualities to foster teenagers 

You do not need special qualities to foster teenagers. If you are over 21 and a UK resident, have a spare bedroom, and the time and energy to be there for a young person, you can foster.  

Looking after a teenager can be full on, but not as challenging as you may think. You do not need to have had your own teenage children or experience in looking after teens. What you do need is a wish to open your heart and your home to a young person who needs to be loved, supported, and protected. The opportunity to foster a child at this stage in their lives is unique; you will be helping to form the next generation. 

If you are new to fostering or to the idea of fostering teenagers, there is no need to worry. You will be part of a team, fully supported by our expert and friendly social workers as well as a network of other foster carers who are eager to share their experience with you.  

Fostering teenagers can be extremely rewarding, whether that’s helping a young person learn practical life-skills, supporting their transition into adulthood and independence or encouraging their educational development.  

Whatever their past experiences, a stable and safe family environment can make all the difference to the lives of these young people. Not every day will be perfect, but every day will be worth it.