Nick and his husband Adam look at adoption as ‘the best decision they ever made’.
They admit it was a big leap to go from a childless couple to the parents of three – they refer to it as ‘0-3 in one go’ - but they've got no regrets
Nick said: “On our very first date together we talked about our longer-term goals and we both agreed we wanted to settle down with children, but it was only a few years ago that we started to think more seriously about it.
“We considered various options such as surrogacy but we felt there were lots of children who had already been born who didn’t have a family to support them, so adoption was the logical choice.”
After attending various open evenings with different adoption agencies, they were impressed by the friendly and personal approach of the staff from Barnardo’s.
Nick said: “There were some relatively deep questions but they never felt invasive, and we were supported by a fantastic social worker who made sure it was a pleasant experience. She was relaxed and friendly, and would sit on our sofa with a cup of tea and chat to us for hours. It just felt very laid-back, which helped to remove any anxiety.”
Becoming parents
The couple were approached by a social worker who was hoping to find a home for three young siblings.
Nick said: “We spent several hours going through all of the information and watching a video of the children playing and talking to each other. It struck an emotional chord with both of us.
“Over the next few months we were visited at home by Barnardo’s, social workers and the children’s foster carer, and then went before a second panel which approved the adoption. It was an incredible moment and very emotional.”
Nick and Adam created scrapbooks to be shared with the siblings, featuring photos of the couple’s home, their pets and their relatives, so the children would feel more familiar with their new family.
The couple visited the foster carer’s house and gradually spent longer periods with the children, initially just staying for lunch but then arriving early to help them get up in the morning and staying into the evening to help with bathing and bedtimes. The process helped the children to cope with the move to a new home, where they settled in well. Two years later the whole family is thriving. Barnardo’s remains available to offer support if needed.
Looking back on their experience
Nick said: “Some people are amazed that we went from 0-3 children in one go, but we just feel very lucky. Of course we have a very different life now, but we’re simply the same couple enjoying different experiences - or seeing them through children’s eyes for the first time.
“Both of us are from close-knit families and we remember enjoying lots of get-togethers with lots of relatives, where the parents and grandparents sat down to chat while we ran around the garden with our friends and cousins. That’s one of the things we’re looking forward to providing to our own children as they get older, giving them the same happy memories.
“They had a difficult start in life but now they’re completely comfortable in their own skin. They’re confident, they’re doing well at school and they’re making friends. It’s been hard work but adoption was the easily the best decision Adam and I have ever made.”