Young carer's blog

Tara's blog:

Day 1

Dear diary, today I went shopping with mum. We had to pre book a taxi for wheelchairs. It takes my mum a while to get ready as she has to make sure she has her tablets, pads and money.

My mum’s wheel chair is electric. I push the shopping trolley and mum tells me what to put in. We work as a team. After we have been to the supermarket mum is always tired so she always goes to bed for a rest.

I put the shopping away and either listen to music or read a book.

Day 2

Dear diary, this morning I put my music on far too loud and my mum went mad and told me to turn it down. I do not leave the house when mum is feeling ill. If she is okay I potter around doing my own thing. If mum needs me she will bang on the ceiling with her stick.

One of my favourite things to do besides reading is taking my dog for a walk.

I wish that I had friends to go out with. I find it difficult to make friends and trust people not just because I am a young carer though this can make it hard when you try and explain why you can’t go out or why your parent needs your support.

I spent the rest of the day reading and listening to music.

Day 3

Dear diary I thought I better explain why I always start my entries with ‘Dear diary’. I like the idea of my entry being a conversation with someone I know.

Today my mum went to the hospital with her support worker who is called Jane. She supports mum with her mental health problems. She has given mum confidence. Before Jane worked with my mum I used to go on the hospital visits - the visits were boring. The doctors at the hospital ignored me.

While mum was at the hospital I read my book. Even after mum’s return I kept on reading. Mum was tired after the hospital visit and went to bed. I finished the book at midnight.

Day 4

Dear diary, this is going to be a busy two days for me. Today I will be going out with Laura my volunteer from Barnardo's. I enjoy these visits. Today we are going to ‘Jorvik’ in York. I like going out with Laura, it is like having a friend and I am able to do ’normal things’

We have something to eat. I can talk to Laura about my mum as she understands about my caring role.

I have my mobile phone with me so that mum and I can keep in contact.

Day 5

Dear diary, today I am working with Sheila my worker at Willow. Sheila is a good person, a great listener and it is easy to tell her how I feel. She helps when my mum is unable to do something like going to get my exams results.

Sheila is the Education Participation Worker. Today we are going to the Leeds Governors conference at Elland Road. We are going to highlight young carer’s issues within education.

The Chief Executive of Education Leeds Chris Edwards came to visit our stall. He shook hands with us both and remembered seeing us at a previous event. I also got to meet the new Director of Children Services for Leeds Rosemary Archer. I gave her a copy of the Willow DVD 360. I told her to watch it and let me know what she thought. Sheila thought this was brilliant and told me how proud she was of me.

Today has been a very long day but I enjoyed it. It was funny watching Sheila laugh her head off.

Day 6

Dear diary, I am going to relax today after yesterday’s hectic day. Yesterday made me think about being a young carer and the journey I have been on.

When I first became a young carer I was always in trouble in school. On reflection I think the break up of my family and becoming a young carer was too much for me. My mum tried to commit suicide and had a lot of fits.

The thing that helped me cope with the situation and get back on track was reading. The book was called ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’. I felt connected to Harry because of his life.

When I became involved in Willow and began working on awareness raising I felt happy that I was able to help other young carers to not feel alone. I used to feel that I was the only one who took care of a parent. But at Willow I met lots of other young people who did the same. Being with workers who understand how you feel and support you is great.

This is why I decided to do the diary entries.

Day 7

Dear diary, today my mum has paid for the holiday that we have planned for ages. I haven’t been on holiday for a long time. Because of my mum's wheelchair we found a hotel that is accessible for disabled and elderly people.This will be easier as then I don’t have to push her around in her electric wheelchair. Mum is already packing for it. I can’t wait till we go. It will be in Blackpool this time but I want to travel all over the world. Mum keeps nagging me to get ready but I’m a last minute person and I always forget something or the other so what's the point in doing it so early.

The hotel is called Bond Hotel. A bus belonging to the hotel picks us up from our house in Leeds and takes us both to the hotel in Blackpool and then takes us back home again after the holiday. Unfortunately it is very expensive but it’s worth it because we can both go on holiday.

Day 8

Dear diary, today I was reminded that I will never have to go to school again yippeeeeeeeeee. I will be starting college in September where I will be studying animal care. At school my mum went to every award night and every parent’s conference but one time she was ill and asked if a teacher would get in touch so she knew how I was doing but they never did. This was very upsetting for my mum, most of my teachers were understanding about my mum's illness, a few didn’t always understand but when a teacher would not listen to what I had to say I got Sheila to make them listen.......

Day 9

Dear diary, we are going on holiday at last. We have both being looking forward to this all week. The trip was very long and I got a bit travel sick and my mum had a few fits on the bus but they were mild probably because she was just nervous about a new place.

It’s late in the evening. It’s about 10pm. Earlier we went for a wander because we had to wait till 2pm for our room to be ready. We left are luggage in the hotel reception. My mum felt better about going out. It was raining but we didn’t care.

After we settled in the room we had our meal and during the meal my mum had a few fits. Some were only minor which took only about ten minutes for her to recover however some of the fits left her paralysed on her right side for most of the evening. This can happen to my mum because when she is in a large crowd she becomes anxious.

In the evening we decided to see the entertainment provided by the hotel. My mum had fits all night. A guest at the hotel said nasty things and my mum became very self conscious. At 10pm my mum and I were tired so we went to bed.

Day 10

Dear diary, today we went shopping. I was surprised at how much energy mum had after no sleep the night before. We bought gifts for a few people. I bought a large teddy that I was planning to buy the day before. It was of a wolf. I have become fascinated about wolfs. We bought two hearts with friend and sister and something for my dad. I won a prize for mum - a small bear with I love you on it. We had dinner at a café which tasted pretty good. Mum had no fits except small ones that I didn’t realise until mum told me about them. This helped mum stay calm and enjoy the day. Mum had her evening meal in her room. This meant she would not be stressed about going in the dinning room with all the people.

Day 11

Dear diary, today we did more shopping. I’ll be surprised if I have any money when I go home! We both bought wall rugs - 3 for me and 4 for mum. In the afternoon we went to the tower and I saw it lit up and we also went to sea world. Mum is afraid of the dark. She had one fit but enjoyed looking at the fish. We bought some souvenirs at the gift shop. We tried to get into the tower but the lift was broken so we decided to go back to the hotel. It was cold as we waited for the taxi. Mum was soon warm when we got back.

Day 12

Dear diary, today we go home we couldn’t wait. It was great going on holiday but we were home sick. I missed Rosy (the cat) and mum missed Winny (the dog). We went for a stroll to pass the time. I bought a second large teddy (a white tiger) and mum bought a smaller one but that was a golden tiger. We had tones of luggage more than we came with; we went to a café for our dinner and met a great man there who chatted with us and he told mum she was wonderful. Whilst we waited for the transport which was later than we expected we sang some songs one of my favourite being:

Why are we waiting?
Why are we waiting?
Why are we waiting?
We wonna go home!

When we got home both of us went to our rooms. I sorted out the luggage first. We both slept great that night.

Day 13

Dear diary, today we lazed about relaxing. When I am older I want to work with animals and travel the world. I am writing my own book so it would be great to get that published. I am determined to help my mum fill her own dreams by taking her to America to swim with dolphins and go to ‘Grace land’. Mum has always wanted to do these things.

Day 14

Dear diary, this is my last entry. I have enjoyed doing this diary hopefully it will help other realise that they are not alone. And those that do not understand will come to realise how hard it really is to be a young carer.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my diary and if you need any help contact Barnardos Willow Young Carers Service. They can help you with your problems - they are great listeners.

From Tara.xxx

Gavin's blog

Day 1

When my worker at Willow asked me to write a journal about the life of a young carer, I agreed to do this because it will raise awareness of young carers like me who have to look after parents or relatives who have a disability or mental illness.

My mum’s illness is that she had 2 strokes when I was born. The strokes left her unable to talk and walk and it also affected her memory so she couldn’t remember anything. She even had to learn what a knife and fork was. I became my mum’s carer when I was 10 when my dad left for another country.

For the first few years I had to help my mum with quite a lot of things like bathing her, making her drinks and helping her to get dressed. I had just started high school and it was very hard for me to adjust to a new school.

My life as a young carer started 5 years ago. Every morning I start by getting my mum up and making her a drink. I am in the house most of the day due to my mum been quite ill. She can hardly move and I have to get her tablets and make her drinks. Then the home help comes around to help her get dressed and help to make her bed so that she is more comfortable.

Most of the day I am downstairs playing my games console and when my mum wants me to change the TV channel for her she rings my mobile from the phone I put by her bed.

Day 2

This morning I woke up with the same wish I have every morning which is 'I wish my mum was fit and able to do the things she has missed out on'. But of course this will never happen so my day starts as it does every morning taking care of my mum and making sure she is alright.

And today I came to Willow to discuss my journal with Sheila. Whenever I’m not at home, I keep thinking about my mum and hoping she is ok and doesn’t need anything. Almost every hour I phone my mum asking if she is alright but during school days it is whenever I get a break which is almost every 2 hours.

Every day I know I need to be home at 3 o’clock to do my paper round and when I get a chance I ring my mum to make sure she is alright. Most of the day I worry about her and make sure she is alright.

Day 3

Today I am going down to the Lake District with my uncle driving us down in his car so that we can have a nice day out, and my mum is able to walk now but not very well as she still needs to use crutches. My mum's favourite thing is going across the lake on the car ferry at Windermere.

And on the days I go out I have someone do my two paper rounds for me. Half of the money I earn goes to my mum and the other half I keep to help buy games.

Day 4

Today I was talking to a friend from school called Scott who is a young carer. I was asking if he had gone on holiday and he said unfortunately he has never been on holiday due to him having to look after his mum. And then I found out that he and a couple of his other mates had just gone out to the park and other places close to home.

Day 5

Sometimes I go away to places like Whitby and Bridlington and even to Windermere at the Lake District for the day with my mum and with my uncle driving.

And the reason we go there is because my mum can’t drive long distances and so she can’t get out all the time and we don’t normally stay out overnight as she feels safer at home.

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