Read Lucy’s story
Apart from a brief period when her mum was pregnant with her younger brother, 17-year old Lucy can’t remember a time when her mum didn’t drink.
She’s pretty much always drank. I used to go round the pubs when I was little to get her out. She wouldn’t be at home and I’d go and find her. The drinkers in there used to call me the ‘devil child’ because I’d kick off.”
Emotional deprivation
Lucy and her older brother brought themselves up most of the time. Although her mum would keep the house tidy and has always managed to work, they were neglected emotionally and often came home to an empty house with no food and no money to buy food.
It's mad really because my mum isn’t the type of drinker that has to have a drink when she wakes up, like every minute of the day. She can go to work but she’s always thinking about that next drink. And when we were very young she’d be gone weekends and then sleep and wouldn’t be much good during the week. My Nan had us move in with her then. I’ve lived with my Nan at different times and with my auntie.”
Lucy’s father was absent from a young age and she went to live with her grandmother when she was five. Her elder brother stayed there but Lucy moved back in with her mum three years later.
I’ve seen her (mum) be ok and not drink when she had my little brother a couple of years ago. She was really there for me when I went through a tough time then. We get on really well when she’s not drinking, I just wish it could be like that all the time. I used to feel a bit resentful about her not drinking and being so good with my little brother and wonder why she couldn’t have been like that when we were little.”
Barnardo's steps in
When her mum started attending a local alcohol support group, they referred Lucy to the Barnardo’s Time For Me Project.
I’ve been going to Time For Me for six years. It has really helped. I can talk to Ava and it was a big help to know you’re not the only one going through those things. I was really shocked when I first went because I knew some of the other kids already but didn’t know that they were going through similar things.”
Time For Me run activities and group sessions for children and young people aged 8 to 13 who are affected by parental alcohol and drug abuse. The focus is on giving children and young people the chance to unwind and enjoy themselves but they also provide one to one support and help within the family where possible.
I’ve done so many things at Time For Me that I wouldn’t have had the chance to enjoy. I used to dread going home afterwards knowing what to expect. But it was a relief to have that break and be treated really good and have people to talk to.”
Lucy's last word
Although she admits there are still days when things are difficult, Lucy is determined to carve out a future for herself.
I work part time in a local shop but I’m not going to stop there, I want more than that. I’m doing a public services course in September at college because I want to go in the army and I’m going to get my own place. I still love my mum but I need to think about myself now. There are still some days that are difficult, you obviously get a bit down about what’s happened but you can’t just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. I want to go somewhere in life so I think about what I want to do more now.”