Young people's stories
"I met him at a family party, he said he was 18. I later found he was 34 with a criminal record." Read Sophie’s story >>
"Everyone had let me down and I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. I met an older man who I believed loved me and all I wanted was to be loved by someone." Read Emma’s story >>
"I got introduced to Barnardo’s around the time of my 16th birthday. I was at rock bottom, being abused by different men, drinking heavily and taking more and more drugs. I had such a low opinion of myself that I couldn’t think of anything else except not living." Read Tim’s story >>
Sophie’s story
Sophie was 13 when she first met her abuser, at a family party. He said he was 18 – but it turned out that he was 34, with a criminal record.
"It seemed so innocent at first", Sophie says
The guy took her to the cinema, bought her thoughtful presents and paid her the attention she had never experienced.
"But then he started to change. He got more aggressive and bad things started happening. He’d hit me, but the next day say he was sorry. I’d always forgive him. He started taking me to parties, he’d give me drink and we’d stay out all night.
"The parties got worse and so did the way he treated me. At first I’d fight back, but it was really hard. Then one night at a party, he took me and some friends upstairs. He made me do things that I didn’t want to do. I was frightened." she says.
At first Sophie had told her mother that she was staying over with friends. She regularly got grounded, but would then run away to be with her 'boyfriend'.
Her relationship with her mother was deteriorating rapidly and she had started to go missing for days on end.
But Sophie’s regular episodes of running away hadn’t gone unnoticed. Her mother had reported the incidents to the police and they became concerned at her relationship with the older man. They alerted the local Barnardo’s child sexual exploitation project.
"From then on, every time I went missing the project worker came out to me. She told me straight what he was doing and how it was not only me, but my family that was at risk. Gradually, I began to see what was happening – and that I needed to get out," Sophie says.
With the help of Barnardo’s, Sophie plucked up the courage to tell her abuser to leave her alone. It wasn’t easy; he followed her, left messages and intimidated friends. But with the support of Barnardo’s and the police she was able to escape.
"Barnardo’s helped me realise what was happening and then they helped me escape. The worker helped me mend the broken relationship with my mum and get the whole family back on track," Sophie explains.
Sophie wants to use her experience to help others. She hopes to be a child psychologist one day and is working as a mentor to other young people at the Barnardo’s project.
Emma’s story
Unloved, lonely and isolated, Emma was targeted by an abuser. Emma thinks she was seven or eight the first time it happened..
"I don’t like to remember, it hurts. But I do know that after that I started behaving badly at school, I didn’t want to go and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. It felt like my ability to speak had been taken away. I couldn’t form any real relationships and I ended up running away when I was 14. I was sleeping rough and staying on friends’ sofas.
"Everyone had let me down and I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. I met an older man who I believed loved me and all I wanted was to be loved by someone."
The man Emma met and believed to be her ‘boyfriend’ was in his early 30s. He showered her with attention, gifts, alcohol and drugs.
"I really thought he loved me, I would have done anything for him."
Soon the ‘boyfriend’ began using violence and finally he forced Emma to sleep with different male friends.
"I just hoped that one day one of the men would want to save me. But it never happened."
Eventually Emma was ‘passed-on’ to a new predatory adult, who trafficked her around the country for the purpose of sexual exploitation.
"I got taken to flats, I don’t know where they were, and men would be brought to me. I was never given any names and I don’t remember their faces. Eventually, I was taken up north somewhere and locked in a flat. They forced me to sleep with loads of men. I felt sick."
Emma managed to run away and was found by the police, but she was too distressed to give her story. However, the police put the young girl in touch with a Barnardo’s worker, who managed to gain her trust and slowly Emma began to reveal her true story.
"The project worker stood by me, talking to me, advising me. She seemed to care so I began to let her in. She helped me to look at what I had got, not what I hadn’t got, and to remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
"My worker said if I let my past ruin my future, I’d be letting all those bad guys win and she was right. Because of her advice and belief in me I have never given up."
Tim’s story
Tim grew up in a supportive and caring family. But at the age of 14 he started to become depressed, turning to alcohol and self harm. His self esteem suffered and he became vulnerable and confused. Tim was the perfect target for abusive men, intent on the sexual exploitation of children.
“At the age of 14 I told my school friends I was gay. But it was okay, I wasn’t bullied, being gay wasn’t an issue. I had some issues with depression and started to self harm.
"At this time a good friend asked me to go to meet a guy he’d met on the internet. I didn’t really think much of it and went along. The guy was in his 20’s. We were taken to a flat and whilst I sat watching the TV, they both went off into the bedroom."
Tim didn’t want to get involved, but meetings with the man continued. He and his friend were offered alcohol and drugs. The boys felt like they were being treated as adults: in fact they were being groomed for sexual exploitation.
"Before I knew it I was involved and being introduced to lots of men who wanted sex. If I tried to say ‘no’ I got hurt. It got so bad my body is now physically scarred."
Tim was now drinking heavily and taking drugs to block out the reality of the situation. He hit the lowest point and wanted to end his life.
"I got introduced to Barnardo’s around the time of my 16th birthday. I was at rock bottom, being abused by different men, drinking heavily and taking more and more drugs. I had such a low opinion of myself that I couldn’t think of anything else except not living.
"It’s not an exaggeration to say that if Barnardo’s hadn’t come along, I would have intentionally or unintentionally killed myself. I wasn’t a human being anymore. I was drugged and drunk – just a shell."
Tim was supported by one of Barnardo’s specialist child sexual exploitation services. His worker helped Tim gain the confidence to escape the abuse and begin to rebuild his future.
Today, Tim’s life is turned around. He has a flat, a job and a long term boyfriend. Essentially, he’s back on track and now his life, family and career are good.